Letting myself feel inspired, letting myself type away on these keys with no reservation. There are no inhibitions to my writing. How unusual. I am usually overwhelmed by inhibitions, by doubts, by thoughts that cloud my mind and close off my heart to the ones I love the most, including myself. My mind, my past, often get in the way of my true heart and all that it wants to share and feel.
I know why the past has come to haunt me, it feels neglected though it’s been attached to me, confronting me, all these years. It feels as though I’ve missed the point. I may be aware of a lot of what has been taught, but still some connections are being made. And they’re coming through in my story.
I first wrote my story for my Master’s Thesis, as you guys know, as HALLOWED BE THY FALL. In the process of turning it into a novel, in the process of FALLING INTO FIRE, and working with my editor, Manny Camacho, I’ve gained crucial insight. Many revelations have been made. Things I wasn’t able to see before. That cloudiness, that confusion, that doubt, was making it difficult for me to write and confront certain topics in my story. But there’s been a shift.
After so many years of living in pain, I finally feel ready, truly ready. I’m not so afraid anymore. I may not like many of the things that come up, a lot of them make me really sad for little Kristy, for the inner part of me that has lived wounded for so long, but I know that taking these steps and writing this story, will all of its truth and feeling, is liberating her. HALLOWED BE THY FALL and FALLING INTO FIRE have been the most crucial decisions I have made thus far for myself and my well-being. It’s a story that I hope, with every word that exposes me, allows others to free themselves as well.
Now it’s your turn: Let yourself feel inspired.
I want you to take a moment to close your eyes and take three deep breaths. Inhale and Exhale. In silence or with sound. Let the inner quiet wash over you and allow yourself to be still. Then, when the knowing arises, when inspired, pick your medium:
Writing: Grab a piece of paper or computer. Begin with a blank page. Write whatever comes to you. Refrain from self-editing in the moment (easier said than done, I know). Take this time to allow your hands to show you the message that wants to come through. Stop when it feels right. Read your message to yourself. No matter what comes through, no matter what feelings arise, allow yourself to end in gratitude, for no matter what gets revealed, you’re that much closer to yourself and what wants to shine through.
Dancing: For my fellow dancers, this exercise can be done with music or in silence with nothing but the sounds of nature. If you would like to do it with music, I suggest searching ecstatic dance or Sapien Medicine on Youtube. When you’ve picked your sound, I want you to simply listen and let your body move. Impose no previous choreography and allow for improv. Your body will know what to do. If hesitation or judgment arises, breathe through it and let your body take the lead. If desired, you can record yourself so you can watch the results when you feel the movement has finished. Feel gratitude for your body and its movements, for yourself and for allowing the ability to express yourself through your physical form.
Singing: If you express yourself through song, I want you to take this time to allow for the song within to come through. This may be a song that already exists or an entirely new one. If it is one that already exists, judge not what song appears and allow yourself to simply sing it. Stop not until the song is complete. If an entirely new song comes through, witness the words being shared through your voice. Feel the vibration coming from within. Consider recording yourself with video or Voice Memos to listen when done. Feel gratitude for your voice and the gift of song, for the gift of word and sound to communicate what needs to be said.
Painting: This can be for painters or sketch artists. I want you to set up a blank canvas or page, grab your instrument, and allow your hand to show you the image that lies within. Do not interrupt the flow of the image that wants to appear. Use all of the colors or shapes that come through and continue to paint or sketch until completion. Witness the beauty of the image that comes forth. Let it speak to you and reveal what wants to be shown. Feel gratitude for this image that has manifested before you. Feel grateful for all that has been shown.
I truly look forward to hearing how this exercise goes for you. If you’d like, I would be honored if you would share your pieces in the comments or a reflection about your experience with the exercise. What came through for you? Were you surprised? Delighted? How did you feel? And how did it change you? I look forward to experiencing your inspirations.
For more writing prompts, click here.